WATCH: DMX sits down with News 4 in personal 2015 interview

Buffalo

Note: Earl Simmons, the rapper known as DMX, died Friday. He was 50.

BUFFALO, N.Y. (WIVB) – Rapper DMX doesn’t want to be known as a deadbeat dad, a druggie, or a negative headline.

He gets defensive talking about his mistakes, not because he’s in denial, but because he still craves a life filled with meaning and music. He admits he is a sick man but his faith keeps him strong.

Just hours after getting out of prison in Buffalo, the rapper’s lawyer Dominic Candino brought him to the News 4 studio’s for a one on one interview with Nalina Shapiro.

DMX didn’t sugarcoat things.

“I’ve been locked up here twice,” said the 44 year old rapper, whose real name is Earl Simmons,

“I thank god for my problems as well as my blessing because they are equally relevant to my life.”

He went to jail most recently for failing to pay a reported $400,000 in child support.

“I have a daughter here, I have a daughter here. I love my daughter,” said DMX.

“God gave me the talent and until he takes it away from me I will use it to the best of my ability and sometimes that means going through things,” said DMX.

One of DMX’s most well known songs, “party up in here” was released in 1999. The rapper from Yonkers, plans to make more music and appear in more movies. DMX admits he has struggled with drugs. He says he’s lost and still looking for who he really is.

“Lord if you hear me you know I’m coming to you sincerely I need you near me please feel me I’m sick and I need you to heal me.”

DMX seems to express himself best through his lyrics.

“I’m tired of lying to myself thinking I can do it on my own because when I get left alone that’s when the devil peeps in and creeps in and it’s usually around the weekend when I get reckless and jump off the deep end.” “Music has taught me how to feel. Music has taught me how to interpret. Music has taught me how to touch, I am part of music, I love music, I am music, I am a part of music,” said the rapper.

Everyday is a struggle for DMX.  “But I know me I’m weak. I fall short of the glory,” said DMX.

But he is optimistic. His faith keeps him strong. He wants to release a song called “Amen” which would be a gospel track.

DMX also is a deacon in his church and still wants to become a pastor but knows before that happens he has to practice what he preaches.

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